


It Takes Courage to Enjoy It

by kittensmctavish



Category: Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Awkward Flirting, F/M, First Meetings, Flirting, Gen, Karaoke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 07:42:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14052198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittensmctavish/pseuds/kittensmctavish
Summary: You’re new to the Ham Fam. No one’s heard you sing yet. So…KARAOKE NIGHT.Originally posted on tumblr on September 13, 2017.





	It Takes Courage to Enjoy It

**Author's Note:**

> First Hamilton RPF I ever wrote. Crossposting here from tumblr of the same name.

It was your first night out with the Ham Fam. As a sort of “congratulations for joining the fam”.

According to Phillipa, any time somebody new joined the cast, everyone would go out to celebrate and chat. Sort of a fun way for the newbie to get to know everyone. And for everyone to get to know the newbie.

“How…interrogation-y does this get?” you asked Phillipa as you both left the theatre. “Because honestly, that’s what it feels like I’m walking into. A night of questions.” You shoved your hands into your coat pockets.

“Don’t worry!” Phillipa said, linking her arm through yours. “Everyone’s super nice. The last thing anyone wants to do is scare you.”

“You sure, Phillipa?” you asked, looking over at her.

“How many times have I asked you to call me Pippa?” she asked back.

“Sorry,” you said, staring down at your feet as the two of you walked. “I’m just…not good with…”

“New people?”

“People. Like, in general. I know that sounds contradictory, me being an actor and all, but…”

“Hey, we all get shy sometimes,” Phillipa assured you, squeezing your arm.

Oh, if only. With you, it was less “shy” and more “cripplingly introverted”. You didn’t voice this, though.

“So where are we meeting everyone, anyway?” you asked. “Just…somewhere to eat? One of your guys’s apartments?”

“Not telling,” Phillipa said.

“Hint, please, Phillipa?”

She gave you a look.

Fine. Hint, please, PIPPA?”

"Better,” she said, nudging her hip against yours. “Well…according to Lin, you killed it at your audition.” Your head nearly shot up at that. He’d seen your audition? Because he certainly been in the room when you auditioned. You dearly Dearly DEARLY hoped you weren’t blushing too noticeably.

"That was…nice of him to say,” you finally said. “But what does that have to do with–?” 

"Oh, we’re here!” she said, gently tugging you towards a door. You were hit by a wave of crowd chatter and unintelligible music so loud, you wouldn’t be surprised if it had blown back your hair.

“CHRIST,” you shouted as Phillipa unlinked your arms to take your hand.

"It’s quieter in the back!” she called to you as she wove you through the people in the bar area. “We usually get a private room!”

“WHAT?” You thought you’d heard the words “private room”, and A: you weren’t sure what that meant, and B: you weren’t sure if that was indeed what you’d heard. It was so goddamn noisy in this bar, your teeth were about to rattle out of your ears. Whatever the hell that meant.

Sure enough, though, the further inside you walked, the calmer it seemed to get. Further away from the crowded bar, anyway.

“Oh, there’s Lin!” Pippa said, pointing towards someone and waving frantically. You went up on to your tiptoes to see someone standing near a door, who was waving back. As soon as you both drew near, Pippa let go of your hand to greet Lin properly.

“Hey, you guys made it!” Lin said, hugging Pippa. When he turned to you, before he could even think about hugging you, you stuck out your hand to shake his.

“Um…hi. I mean…um…nice to meet you officially.”

You prayed for the earth to open up and swallow you whole.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you officially, too,” Lin said with a kind smile, shaking your hand. He looked positively unflapped. You hoped you’d smiled, even if it was a nervous smile. You legitimately felt too nervous to smile.

“You two make it okay?” Lin asked you and Pippa as he opened the door. And as the three of you walked in…

“HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME?! I MADE MY MISTAKES!”

Jonathan Groff was wangsting into a microphone while others at the nearby table seemed to be falling out of their chairs, they were laughing so hard.

Karaoke. Okay. You could handle this.

(You could not handle this. Why.)

(Oh god. You must have said “Why” out loud. Either that, or your dread was heavily apparent, because you heard Lin and Pippa laugh a little. Not unkindly, but…)

“None of the cast has heard you sing yet,” Lin said as he led you and Pippa towards a table. “This seemed the best way to tackle that issue, and to get to know you better.”

“Great!” you said in that weak sarcastic way in which people say “great” when something is anything but.

“I mean, I kinda peeked my head in the door on your audition, so…technically, I have, but…” If Lin was going to finish that sentence, it was quickly cut off by the table.

“Is the newbie here?” Before you knew what was happening, someone had thrown their arms around you. “Hey, girl!”

Oh god. Oh God. OH GOD. PLEASE NO.

"Renee, I think you scared her a little,” Pippa said quietly (well, as quietly as one could with Jonathan continuing to whine the Simple Plan song into the microphone).

“Sorry, I’m just excited!” (apparently) Renee said, letting you go. “C’mon, meet everyone!” Before you could say anything, she ushered you by the arm towards a booth where several other people were sitting. Shouts of “NEWBIE!” went around, in a very “NORM!”-esque fashion. Renee gestured towards the crowd, introducing them individually (Leslie, Chris, Jasmine, Anthony, Oak, Daveed), and one by one, you gave them your name as you shook their hands.

“And then Jonathan’s up there reliving the 2000’s,” Daveed said as he let go of your hand, jamming his thumb in the direction of the microphone.

“Cool,” you said.

“You can sit next to me!” Pippa said, taking your hand and tugging you towards some chairs they’d set up on the other side of the boothed table. That way, you were facing everyone for bonding time/interrogation. You sat down next to Pippa, Lin sitting on your other side.

Pretty much as soon as you sat down, the questioning commenced. What were you doing before “Hamilton”, what shows have you done in the past, where were you from, things like that. You gave short, informative answers, hoping you weren’t coming across as cold or unpersonable. (Even though…really, you were kind of unpersonable.)

Anthony and Jasmine had just asked you a joint question (“Do you have any pets?” “And if so, what are their names?”). Before you could respond, you were tackled from behind, arms wrapping around your neck in a hug.

“FUCK ME!” you shouted before you could stop yourself.

“Hi, Newbie!”

“Jon, get off her,” Lin scolded. “You’re scaring her.” Thankfully, Jonathan removed his arms from you.

“How much have you had to drink?” Pippa asked.

“Um…what time did we get here?” Jonathan asked.

“About 8:00,” Leslie said.

“Ah. Then zero. I have had zero alcohols,” Jonathan said with a cheeky smile. “Oak, you’re up.” Before he walked away, Jonathan ruffled your hair, once again making you flinch.

“Well, it’s my show, so I should probably buy our new girl a drink,” Lin sighed as he stood up, smiling at you. “Come on. My treat.” You didn’t really have a choice but to follow suit.

“I’m sorry about Jonathan,” Lin said as you two left the private room. “He’s an idiot. I love the guy, but…yeah, he’s an idiot.”

“It’s okay.”

“No—I mean, pardon my language, but he quite clearly scared the shit out of you,” Lin said, his steps halting for a moment. “He can be overwhelming and…no offense, but you’ve had a sort of deer-in-headlights look since you sat down.”

Yep. Your discomfort was all too obvious. Goodness knows what everyone else thought of you.

“I’m not offended by swearing,” you said, choosing to ignore the other remarks. “I mean…I yelled ‘fuck me’ when Jonathan surprised me, so…”

“Very true,” Lin laughed. He gently pressed a hand at the small of your back as the two of you walked. “Not kidding about that drink, though. What’s your preference? They’ve got some kickass mixed drinks I can recommend. Also a good beer selection, decent wine selection…”

“Um…thanks, that’s really nice,” you said, “but I don’t drink.”

“That’s cool,” Lin said, undeterred. “Shirley Temple it is. Or a Freddie Bartholomew. Anyway, something nonalcoholic and named after a 1930’s child star.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, and you covered your mouth with your hands as you did.

“There we go,” Lin said with a little laugh of his own, pointing at you. “Got you to laugh. My night is made.” He reached up for your hands to uncover your mouth, still in the form of a smile from laughing. But you ducked your head as it went away, staring at Lin’s hands on your own. He quickly pulled them away. “Anyway, yeah. I can respect that. Being a nondrinker.”

“It’s not a moral choice or anything,” you said, feeling the need to explain. “I just…don’t like the way it tastes. Like, every drink I’ve ever tried, it’s like I take one sip, and then I’m like ‘oh, no thank you’.”

“That’s cool.”

“…yeah, I’m kind of boring.”

“…no, you’re not.”

You glanced up at him, then back down.

“I…really am. Like…any other night, I’m home, in bed, with a story to read. I don’t…go out and interact with people. So…like, I’m not nervous about meeting everyone because I’m thinking ‘Holy shit, Broadway actors’, I’m…genuinely like this in every group situation, pretty much. So…”

Lin ducked his head down so he was in your sightline. It sort of forced you to look up so he wasn’t bending over all weird.

“That’s cool, too,” Lin said. “When we get back, we can just…force the focus on the karaoke. Or you can just sit and listen to people for a while, if you want. If that’ll help you feel like part of the fam, then that’s what we’ll do.” He smiled. “…of course, you’re not leaving tonight without doing at least ONE song for a group, so…be warned.”

“Yeah,” you said, offering an actual not-nervous genuine smile. “I’m gonna need maybe three Shirley Bartholomews or Freddie Temples before that.”

Lin laughed hard at that. And fuck, was it infectious.

“Seriously, though…they need to hear you sing,” Lin said, directing you back towards where drinks could be ordered. “I need to hear you sing more, you have a really pretty voice. I mean, from what I heard in your audition.”

“You’re gonna hear enough of my voice in the show,” you said, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks.

“Well, yeah, but karaoke is different,” Lin said.

“And are you going to sing?” you asked.

“Maybe. Probably. I’ll probably get a ton of flack if I don’t.”

“Any idea of what you’re going to sing?”

“No clue.”

“Me either.”

“They’ve got a pretty extensive catalog. You can look at it when we get back to the room.”

When you DID get back (you with a Shirley Temple, Lin with a beer), you heard a familiar hook in the air. You didn’t even need to ask which song it was; Daveed was rapping “Ice Ice Baby” while Leslie sang “Under Pressure” in conjunction.

“Please, PLEASE tell me we didn’t miss ‘Superfreak’ and ‘Can’t Touch This’ being sung together,” Lin said to Anthony and Jasmine as he sat down.

“No, but now someone’s pretty much obligated to do that now,” Anthony said, smiling at you as you sat next to Lin.

“I love it when songs sound like other songs,” Jasmine sighed.

“It’s really fun when the songs are from the same artist,” you said, taking a sip of your Shirley Temple.”

“How do you mean?” Anthony asked.

“Take Taylor Swift, for example,” you said. “‘Bad Blood’ could basically be sung over the instrumentals to ‘We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together’ and no one would be the wiser.” Jasmine’s jaw dropped.

“That’s amazing,” she said, gobsmacked. “Really?” You nodded.

“Yeah, just start the first verse of ‘Bad Blood’ where the first verse of ‘We Are Never’ starts, and it totally fits,” you explained.

“Well, now we know what you have to sing to us,” Lin said, nudging you.

“Like hell she is, I got dibs!” Jasmine insisted.

“Yeah, let me choose my own song,” you said, nudging Lin as you took another sip of your drink.

“Oh, here’s the catalog of songs,” Pippa said from your other side, sliding the binder over to you. You began to flip through the pages when you felt someone looking over your shoulder.

“Lin!” Pippa scolded. “No peeking!”

“Aw,” Lin said resting his head on your shoulder for only a moment before you pulled it away. “But I’m curious!”

“Go say hi to Oak,” Pippa said, pointing at the other man. “Let the girl be.” Lin pouted – which made him more adorable than he had any right being – as he stood and walked over to talk to Oak.

“Sorry,” Pippa said to you. “Was Lin doing that when he got your drink?”

“It’s okay,” you said, turning a group of pages to find another genre of music. “I mean…he got me to laugh, like, not nervously, so I’m in a bit of a better place than when you and I walked here.”

“That’s good,” Pippa said, hugging your shoulders, leaning in close to your ear. “Can I tell you a secret?” You nodded. “He was nervous for tonight, too. Like, excited to get to know you better, because all he knew about you was a little snippet of your voice that he – his words, not mine – ‘fell a little bit in love with’.”

“…Pippa, did you imbibe of any alcohol between now and when Lin and I left the room?” you asked, because there was NO way that was true.

“Maybe a little bit of whatever Renee’s been drinking, but I swear, he said that,” Pippa said. You stared at her for a long while, trying to digest this information.

“‘CAUSE BABY, NOW WE GOT BAD BLOOD!'”

“IT WORKS! IT ACTUALLY FUCKING WORKS!”

Jasmine and Anthony’s utter glee over what you’d divulged to them earlier snapped you out of your “SHIT-LIN-LIKES-ME-MAYBE” reverie.

“What the hell?” Pippa said, looking over at them.

“They can explain it to you later,” you said, shuffling through the pages of the song catalog with renewed fervor. You now knew what song you wanted to do. You just had to make sure it was in there.

And yes. It was.

“You’re a fucking genius!” Jasmine declared, running over to you when the song was over.

“I’m really not,” you insisted, but stood up when it was clear she wanted to give you a hug.

“Did you find a song?” Lin asked, walking back over with Oak. You quickly picked up the catalog so he couldn’t peek.

“Yes,” you said, holding the catalog close to your chest.

“Ooh, newbie gonna sing for us?” Oak said slyly.

“GO NEWBIE GO!” Jonathan called.

“Okay okay, just…hold on,” you said. You picked up your Shirley Temple and quickly downed the rest of it.

“Whoa, slow down,” Leslie said, concerned. “What’s the alcohol content on that?”

“Zero-point-nought,” you said, placing the now-empty glass back on the table and walking over to the microphone and karaoke station. Everyone was cheering your name wildly as you entered the number for the song into the machine.

As the intro began to play, you heard some more cheers. Not because they recognized the song (you weren’t sure if they did), but probably because…well, it was the first time anyone was going to hear you sing. You stepped up to the microphone and watched the screen for the lyrics to begin changing color.

“I can sense it,” you began to sing, closing your eyes, swaying slightly to the beat. “Something important/Is about to happen/It’s coming up.” You began to bop a little as the beat picked up and you felt a little more lost in the song, trying not to laugh at the catcall-esque cheers coming from the crowd. “It takes courage/To enjoy it/The hardcore/And the gentle/Big time sensuality.”

You’d always just…fucking LOVED Bjork. And this song in particular was one you’d always belt at the top of your voice in your car, in the shower, in your apartment in general.

But now you had someone to sing it to. You opened your eyes and looked for Lin as best you could through the lights. And you hoped it didn’t come off as too obvious that you were staring at him as you sang. Singing to him.

“We just met,” the second verse began. “And I know I’m a bit too intimate/But something huge is coming up/And we’re both included.” You tossed your hair back, it having gotten in your eyes a little from the movement you were doing with the song. “It takes courage/To enjoy it/The hardcore/And the gentle/Big time sensuality.”

FUCK, you loved this song. Knew it like the back of your fucking hand. So you gave yourself back over to the song more, now that the verse you’d wanted to direct to Lin was over.

“I don’t know my future after this weekend/And I don’t want to/It takes courage/To enjoy it/The hardcore/And the gentle/Big time sensuality”

Bjork had the greatest tendency to just sing random vowels and consonants – words that usually made no sense – in her songs, at random. Her way of expressing herself through music when the words weren’t enough. You knew all those moments in this song so well, so you knew exactly how to fill in the last minute or so of instrumentals of the song, dancing around a little bit when there were pauses that could warrant dancing.

As the music faded out, the cheers faded in, and you took a small bow before bounding off the small stage and back over to your seat. You ran your hands through your hair, all in your face from having danced so enthusiastically.

Almost instantly, you were swept up in arms and cheers and compliments. Almost overwhelmingly so. If you weren’t on a mini-high from the song, you probably would’ve collapsed in nerves right then and there. But instead, you just giggled.

“What a fucking great song!” Jonathan said. “I forget how fun Bjork can be.”

“Why’d you choose that song? I’m curious,” Daveed said. “Got a crush on one of us already?” He gave you a lascivious wink and smirk, prompting Leslie to reach over and smack him upside the head. “Didn’t even feel that. Hair cushioned the blow.”

“Sure, Daveed,” you said with a small winded laugh. “You know Bjork didn’t even write this song for anyone in a romantic sense? She wrote it with and for her producer at the time. Like, they just clicked on so many different levels when creating music. Like, she’s saying ‘hey, I know we don’t know each other very well, but holy shit, you’re already so important to me it’s ridiculous, be in my life forever’.”

“I can understand that feeling,” Lin said casually, taking a sip of his beer. “So, who’s gonna top that?”

“No one, but I’ll sing something,” Renee said, striding over to the stage.

“I gotta go get something else to drink,” you said, walking towards the door. “Be right back.” You shut the door quietly behind you, and leaned against a nearby wall for a moment, taking in a deep breath.

Well. That was over. They knew you could sing. That was cool. You giggled a little bit. Still a little giddy from the song, probably. You pushed yourself away from the wall and began to walk in the direction of where you and Lin had gotten drinks before. You heard the door open behind you, someone calling your name.

“I believe I said tonight was my treat,” Lin said, walking up to you.

“You said that about the first drink, yes,” you said, trying to act casual. As casual as you could towards the man you’d sort of serenaded who may or may not have had a crush on your voice before even properly meeting you.

“Great song choice, by the way,” Lin said casually. Too casually.

“Thanks,” you said.

Fake casual all around.

“As good as my audition?” you asked.

“Nope,” he said. You looked at him. He looked over at you and smiled. “Better than I remembered and dreamed.”

Well. Okay then.

“Well, Okay then,” you said, looking down, face heating up. “Have you chosen something to sing?”

“Had some ideas,” Lin said, his arm slinking around your waist as the two of you walked into the crush of the crowd at the bar. “Was kinda hoping maybe I could do a duet with someone.”

“Really?” you said, pausing to order a Shirley Temple, watching the bartender make the drink.

“Only if she wants to, though,” Lin said, not whispering in your ear, but speaking to you in that hushed, intimate tone one uses when one doesn’t want others to overhear. “I mean…we just met. And I know I can be a bit too…” He squeezed your waist. “Intimate.”

“You’re a dork,” you said, looking over at him, nudging him slightly. He shrugged, as if agreeing. But his eyes were sparkling. And his smile was bright.

The bartender present you with your new Shirley Temple, and Lin paid the man.

“Well, I’m sure she’ll say yes, if you ask,” you said, taking a sip of your drink as you two walked out of the crowd.

“Really?” Lin said.

“Yeah, I mean…well, yeah.”

Lin didn’t say anything in response. But his arm was around your waist again, and that made you smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback welcome and appreciated.


End file.
